If your shadow houses all the less-than-shiny parts of yourself that you maybe try to downplay with others, shadow work “gives an individual the opportunity to reclaim certain aspects of [the] self,” says Dr. Polyné. “This work offers us the opportunity to re-develop into our whole selves,” she adds. 

For example, say you learned from an early age that it was safest for you to keep your opinions to yourself around your parents. You might feel like speaking up or being your full self around your family feels really uncomfortable. But embracing your outspoken side might help you feel more at home in your friendships or make choices that better suit who you want to be in the world. 

It’s also an opportunity to get curious about parts of ourselves that we’re not so proud of, says Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, founder of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching in Denver, CO and the host of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast. For instance, maybe you have a tendency to snap at a loved one, and even just thinking about that fact makes you super uncomfortable. Dr. Bobby explains that shadow work might prompt you to actually look at and investigate that behavior, asking yourself things like: “What was my motivation when I snapped at them? What need was I trying to get met?” The tricky part of shadow work is to look curiously at these less-than-fun parts of oneself without internalizing it and assuming you’re just a bad, mean person. 

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To be clear, embracing your shadow doesn’t mean encouraging bad behavior. It’s not an excuse to scream at someone so that you can embrace the anger your family told you was unacceptable, Dr. Polyné explains. 

Instead, being aware of these parts of ourselves helps us gain a better understanding of our values, which we can use to make decisions that align with our true self—not just the person we want people to see.